Mar 31

Written by: Mike Smith
3/31/2008 12:17 PM

I first learned about the idea of an emotional tank from Dr. Ross Campbell. In his book "How to Really Love your Teenager," Dr. Campbell assumes that parents love their children. He is convinced that most teenagers do not sense their parents love them! He suggests that teenagers have an emotional tank that is best filled by parents. According to Dr. Campbell the most significant four things a parent can do for his teen in filling the teen’s emotional tank are in the area of focused attention, eye contact, loving discipline, and touch. Teens need these four things from their parents. Without them they will not be able to be their best and do their best. They will suffer if these four things are lacking for a long period of time. I have found him to be insightful on teenagers. This led me to realize that adults have an emotional tank as well. I use this in premarital counseling to help men understand how they can love their wives well. Here are my categories for a wife’s emotional tank: Security, Romance, Emotional Intimacy, and Affirming Touch. The categories for a husband’s emotional tank are: Being Needed, Appreciation, Physical Intimacy, and Responsiveness to his Touch. I will elaborate on a wife’s emotional tank next time.

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